Not you, but me
by tzaya
Summary: He felt as though he should go back home and consult Kasuka first before giving an answer. (shizuo/izaya) (shizuo/oc) (raiijin!days)


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 _T/N: this can be seen as a oneshot, or a prequel to one of my oneshot ('don't belong'), it's up to your interpretations! keep in mind the title is in izaya's pov, you'll understand what i mean later. and thank you so much in advance for reading! if you're leaving a review, thank you so much as well! they really make me happy. 3 have a good day, everyone!3_

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The bell rung as an indication that school hours had ended, and with his wounded hand, full of cuts from Izaya, he turned the lock to his locker to retrieve his outdoor shoes. It wasn't completely out of his expectations when his gaze fell on a folded paper that stood out due to how few things Shizuo had stored in there. Now, don't be mistaken— this was perhaps the tenth time this month that he'd received a note from the so-called bullies. It must've been one of the gangs that he'd beaten up recently, out of the hundreds that Izaya sent after him. A handful of them more often than not grew angry from the fact that they'd lost the fight, and decided to threaten Shizuo promptly after by saying they'd come after him again with stronger army.

"Fucking _again_?"

His fingers were drawn to it, nevertheless; staining the paper with splotches of red as he unfolded the letter and wondered what kind of stupid line he was going to hear today. Amber hued eyes trailed over the words in a lazy manner until his brows knitted, expression turning of a puzzled one when the note turned out to be different. Instead of words full of curses, it was filled with compliments instead. Things he didn't realize could be used to describe him.

It was a confession letter.

"Probably Izaya's shitty trick," he muttered under his breath, fingers balling into fists. Despite how much he wanted it to be true instead, nine times out of ten, it always proved to be Izaya's doing in the end. The bastard would take his time to write these letters to play with Shizuo's feelings (or did he hire someone to? hell if Shizuo knows), and deceive Shizuo into thinking that there were people who would actually accept him the way he was. And he did fall for it, but only the first few times. After that, Shizuo knew better and started throwing the letters at the smug grin playing on Izaya's lips instead, as Izaya taunted him; going on about how Shizuo would always be alone.

The one time it wasn't Izaya pulling the strings? There were several girls, but most of them didn't even have the courage to be with Shizuo, instead only attracted to him due to his strength and looks. Even _they_ were afraid of him. Of course, he couldn't blame them. He was still trying to control his strength to this day, with Tom's help, but his efforts would always be foiled by Izaya. As Izaya had nailed in his head, "A beast should act like a beast, why'd you want to fool yourself into thinking you're humane when that's clearly not the truth?"

Sometimes, he actually believed those words.

Shizuo chucked the crumpled piece of paper back in the direction of Izaya's locker, creating a big dent in the metal door. Wasn't it enough to pierce that stupid blade of his in Shizuo's body earlier today? Izaya would never be satisfied with just one way of antagonizing Shizuo, would he?

"I'll show that flea," in the letter, there was a time and location of the supposed meeting for Shizuo and the person who sent in the confession to meet. He wasn't sure if Izaya would actually show up, or watch him, perched on another building to laugh at Shizuo. But either way, he'll make sure he'll find Izaya and teach the bastard a lesson. For once, Shizuo wanted to wipe off that grin that Izaya always wore; thinking that he was always one step ahead of everyone else.

The rooftop was clear when he stepped in, except for one girl standing by the railing who seemed to be engrossed in the moment while she looked over the houses ahead. Had he gotten it wrong again? Was it really not Izaya who was supposed to be here, standing before him? It definitely caught him off guard. No other girl had ever wanted to meet him like this after word got out that he'd reject everyone due to being afraid of hurting them. _That_ , and Izaya's rumor of him abusing his past girlfriend, which wasn't true, of course, since he'd never dated anyone.

Shizuo had to applaud her for the bravery, though. But his heart felt heavy, knowing that he had to put down yet another person just because of his fears and flaws.

"H-Heiwajima?"

The girl was surprised when she turned to see him, stammering and hands relentlessly fidgeting with the hem of her skirt.

"Um, are you the one who sent me the confession letter?" he gingerly asked.

"Eh? Ah," at first, she wore a confused expression, but after a moment (it felt longer to Shizuo) of contemplation, she continued further, her tone sounded calmer this time, "Yes? I've always liked Heiwajima-san."

"I'm sorry to say this, but I think it'd be better off if we don't get together, because of my strength. You can find someone better than me."

The words rolled off his tongue smoothly; he was used to repeating this line by now, after countless of practice in front of his mirror at night. Shizuo brought his hand up to rub at the nape of his neck, purposefully averting his gaze from hers, in case she had a sad expression on her face. He wouldn't be able to tolerate it, then— to really see how much of an asshole he was.

It wasn't the case, though, because she did the exact opposite.

"I think Heiwajima-san's strength is a specialty of sort. You can really put it to a… good use. And I've seen you with your brother, you were good to him. I'm sure you won't hurt me on purpose."

This girl, whatever her name was (he didn't bother to read the whole letter as he'd assumed Izaya was using a name that he made up to sign it with), kept on taking him by surprise. His mind felt muddled from the unexpected turn of events, and he found himself staring at her wide-eyed, unable to utter a word in reply. What was he supposed to do in this situation?

He felt as though he should go back home and consult Kasuka first before giving an answer.

"Does this mean you accepted my confession?" she spoke first, appearing shy despite how bold she'd been a few seconds ago. Shizuo could see that her palms were sweaty, since she kept wiping them against the fabric of her uniform. Oddly, he briefly had a passing thought of taking them into his to hold— but he immediately shook it off.

"O-okay…?"

His lips had betrayed him. It was unplanned, but he had blurted out his answer, according to the desires that he'd been suppressing so hard in his heart over the years. What it was is a mistake, yet it didn't feel like one when she flashed him a sweet grin as her face lit up upon hearing that, and she took his blue jacket in her hand to tug him closer, a fleeting kiss that seemed more of a dream was given on his cheek.

For the first time in years, a fit of laughter bubbled up from inside of him, and it sounded like a harmony accompanied with hers.

Shizuo wasn't aware of another presence aside from them, situated on a taller of the school while the person juggled a pen in their hand, wearing a bitter demeanor while they practically spat out words in hatred as they watched on.

It was his own nemesis that he'd claimed to be able to sniff out even from far away. Orihara Izaya, who had been observing since the moment Shizuo went as far as to open the door to the rooftop, who was scoffing at the absurdity of this situation— who _knew_ that the person who wrote the letter wasn't her, but the one who was holding a pen.

"Who is that liar?"


End file.
